Astragalus In A Sidehack

In the interest of full disclosure, I must inform you that this entire Hub is posted for the singular purpose of raising my ratings in the search engines. And I must further inform you that my capacity for adherence to principles of truth and sincerity may not extend beyond this paragraph. Believe past here at you own risk.

You see, the past few days of my life have been devoted to studying the Principles of Successful Hubbing and other soul-building activities. For the most part I've been trotting along behind prominent Hubbers like Eric Graudins and RichardSpeaks; you know... studying the habits of the big boys. So this post is to bring you up to speed on what I've learned so far

The reason for the incongruous heading, Snarky Definition, will be revealed later in the post.

It seems that there's a movie out right now making a big deal about a sport called sidehacking. (All you wiseacres who've read the Urban Dictionary's take on sidehacking can stop snickering any time now.) A sidehack is a little cart attached to the side of a cycle, usually a motorcycle. Which causes a bunch of high spirited souls to divide up into pairs and race each other around a track at speeds measured in something called machs. The job of the person in the sidehack is to lean out as far as possible in the turns, balancing the whole unit and thereby keeping it from crashing into the countless spectators gathered around the track. Sounds exciting, n'est ce pas?

But here comes the best part. Everyone who participates in this sport eats a steady diet of astragalus. As some of you might know, astragalus is a restorative food (also available in a tonic) that the Chinese have used for years to strengthen the immune system, improve the balance while riding in little side cars at mach speeds, and to block the brain's fear receptors while engaging in high-energy exercises usually considered to be acts of insanity. News of this amazing food was leaked to the press just this week and already demand has turned the futures markets into a worldwide frenzy.

Positions in the markets can be obtained at  www.ifyoubelievethisyourmine.buy.

Okay, maybe I oughta share just a little more information before I close. What happened is, I went down into the US south and went crazy in Alabama. Then, under the influence of whatever it is they gave me, I went out and acted on what I had learned from the prominent Hubbers mentioned above.

What I did was, I went to Google Trends and swiped the top ten "up to the minute" keywords. (Except crazy in Alabama which is number nineteen.) Then, I put them all into a Hub, just as I'd seen my mentors do, and made up this article just to see what would happen.

For your edification, all the keywords and phrases are in italics. You're very welcome.

Oh wait, there's one more thing. I should also tell you that troy polamalu, james traficant, priest holms, and lynn swann all gathered at 1600 pennsylvania avenue to watch vampire diaries. I know it's true because I read it in Google Trends.

Besides, I had to find somewhere to place the rest of my keywords.

Now I'm just gonna sit back and wait for my money to pour in...